Love is More Powerful.
Imagine the parallels being drawn between Leslie and Daisy. Let's get a little background on Leslie before we continue:
Leslie is speaking about her story of domestic abuse in her relationship. She is then a recent Harvard graduate, young, and working for a magazine company in New York. Many nights of the year, though, she will have a loaded pistol aimed at her head, held by her own lover, with threats of its use. It's an abuse story, and a love story at the same time.
Leslie and Daisy have some similarities--they're both young, smart women, in abusive, decayed relationships, but they both love their partner. Perhaps Leslie more than Daisy, but the point remains: they were both in abusive relationships. Leslie says that everyone can be victim, that, "domestic violence happens to everyone--all races, all religions, all income and education levels. It's everywhere." She even goes on to describe Daisy's relationship with Tom, her supposed "abuser," saying, "over 85 percent of abusers are men, and domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships, in other words, in families..."
We can't assume that Daisy was oblivious to the signs, as Leslie says she was. It is, however, obviously shown that she is aware of the various neglects Tom shows to Daisy. The affair, the emotional neglect. It may not be necessarily physical abuse that Tom displays towards Daisy, rather it is emotional. Daisy explained that when their child was born, Tom was "God knows where." This is where Leslie and Daisy differ fundamentally, but the point can still be drawn with both of them: that they stayed with a person that clearly exposed neglect to them.
Leslie will explain how, "...the first stage in any domestic violence relationship is to seduce and charm the victim," and that she fell for it. She will also say how the second stage is to isolate the victim, or that the third is to introduce the threat of violence, and mark reactions. Then it can simply move into the abuse from there, and the increase is monitored. Daisy can be related to this; her marriage probably began with Tom being this attractive, seductive man, and she fell in love with him, wherein Tom was able to simply keep her on a leash, and control her while he went on his string of affairs.
There is one key issue here, however. Leslie explains that the reason she did not leave, was because she didn't know she was being abused. She considered it that she was the only person helping this deeply troubled man, and that they were both deeply in love. Daisy and Tom don't seem to be quite as enthralled in each other as Leslie describes they were. It seems more that Daisy is there more out of obligation, with the love being a secondary emotion--a complimentary one, but a secondary consideration nevertheless. Daisy had found love in Jay Gatsby, and this love preceded Tom. Such is why the question must be asked: why did Daisy stay? Why did she stay, when she most definitely knew that Tom was abusive towards her. Perhaps it is that she believes in the last decaying remnants of what was a real compassion for each other, and that she maintains the hope that that love can be rekindled, since they have spent so much time together, and to simply end it would be a foolish decision to make. Maybe she doesn't leave because what Leslie says is why people don't leave: that it's incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser. Tom has been shown to be a very carelessly violent person, demonstrated when he breaks Myrtle's nose with a whip of his open hand. The situation is described in minimal detail, to show that Tom did it with little consideration, and little care. Daisy probably knows the horrid potential that could be unleashed were Tom's ire truly unleashed. These are both valid reasons, but I think it is something else; perhaps it's that love, no matter how harmed, how dilapidated, still overpowers the rest of the reasons to simply leave. Love is a powerful emotion, and even if you hate the person, you can still love them; and that is more than enough to endure the suffering. Countless examples can be found for people that despise each other still staying together out of love.
I think that this is because humans are built fundamentally incomplete. We simply cannot live properly without love. We can bear hate, resentment, abuse, loneliness, isolation, and more, simply to be fed with the love that we so wholly need. Is it a sickness? Maybe it is, but I believe that it's just a display of how humanity can be something greater, something that can work together; because people are incomplete, they can join with other people, and work as a unit, stronger than the comprising components. Humanity has the potential for greatness, and even though that can be abused, it shows a sign of those that are willing to give their all for the betterment of others (and also themselves). My dream is to make it that people can openly cooperate and collaborate, and achieve greater things, without evil men simply using people's more tender aspects as a choke-hold.
Leslie is speaking about her story of domestic abuse in her relationship. She is then a recent Harvard graduate, young, and working for a magazine company in New York. Many nights of the year, though, she will have a loaded pistol aimed at her head, held by her own lover, with threats of its use. It's an abuse story, and a love story at the same time.
Leslie and Daisy have some similarities--they're both young, smart women, in abusive, decayed relationships, but they both love their partner. Perhaps Leslie more than Daisy, but the point remains: they were both in abusive relationships. Leslie says that everyone can be victim, that, "domestic violence happens to everyone--all races, all religions, all income and education levels. It's everywhere." She even goes on to describe Daisy's relationship with Tom, her supposed "abuser," saying, "over 85 percent of abusers are men, and domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships, in other words, in families..."
We can't assume that Daisy was oblivious to the signs, as Leslie says she was. It is, however, obviously shown that she is aware of the various neglects Tom shows to Daisy. The affair, the emotional neglect. It may not be necessarily physical abuse that Tom displays towards Daisy, rather it is emotional. Daisy explained that when their child was born, Tom was "God knows where." This is where Leslie and Daisy differ fundamentally, but the point can still be drawn with both of them: that they stayed with a person that clearly exposed neglect to them.
Leslie will explain how, "...the first stage in any domestic violence relationship is to seduce and charm the victim," and that she fell for it. She will also say how the second stage is to isolate the victim, or that the third is to introduce the threat of violence, and mark reactions. Then it can simply move into the abuse from there, and the increase is monitored. Daisy can be related to this; her marriage probably began with Tom being this attractive, seductive man, and she fell in love with him, wherein Tom was able to simply keep her on a leash, and control her while he went on his string of affairs.
There is one key issue here, however. Leslie explains that the reason she did not leave, was because she didn't know she was being abused. She considered it that she was the only person helping this deeply troubled man, and that they were both deeply in love. Daisy and Tom don't seem to be quite as enthralled in each other as Leslie describes they were. It seems more that Daisy is there more out of obligation, with the love being a secondary emotion--a complimentary one, but a secondary consideration nevertheless. Daisy had found love in Jay Gatsby, and this love preceded Tom. Such is why the question must be asked: why did Daisy stay? Why did she stay, when she most definitely knew that Tom was abusive towards her. Perhaps it is that she believes in the last decaying remnants of what was a real compassion for each other, and that she maintains the hope that that love can be rekindled, since they have spent so much time together, and to simply end it would be a foolish decision to make. Maybe she doesn't leave because what Leslie says is why people don't leave: that it's incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser. Tom has been shown to be a very carelessly violent person, demonstrated when he breaks Myrtle's nose with a whip of his open hand. The situation is described in minimal detail, to show that Tom did it with little consideration, and little care. Daisy probably knows the horrid potential that could be unleashed were Tom's ire truly unleashed. These are both valid reasons, but I think it is something else; perhaps it's that love, no matter how harmed, how dilapidated, still overpowers the rest of the reasons to simply leave. Love is a powerful emotion, and even if you hate the person, you can still love them; and that is more than enough to endure the suffering. Countless examples can be found for people that despise each other still staying together out of love.
I think that this is because humans are built fundamentally incomplete. We simply cannot live properly without love. We can bear hate, resentment, abuse, loneliness, isolation, and more, simply to be fed with the love that we so wholly need. Is it a sickness? Maybe it is, but I believe that it's just a display of how humanity can be something greater, something that can work together; because people are incomplete, they can join with other people, and work as a unit, stronger than the comprising components. Humanity has the potential for greatness, and even though that can be abused, it shows a sign of those that are willing to give their all for the betterment of others (and also themselves). My dream is to make it that people can openly cooperate and collaborate, and achieve greater things, without evil men simply using people's more tender aspects as a choke-hold.